so the jt & i road-tripped it to good ol' canton, ga last weekend. he was asked to speak at a parenting teenagers conference... he did an awesome job!! his dear mom came to me afterwards, gave me a big hug, and said "he knocked it out of the park! i am sooo impressed and proud to be his mama". too cute. i was definitely proud to be his wife too!
i seriously don't think i have ever been more convicted by a sermon in my life. ouch. big time.
i can't remember everything God convicted me about (isn't that sad?) but a few things i do remember.
(1) i certainly spend more time reflecting on the jt's faults than my own fault (opposite of Mt.7 right there)
(2) i have definitely said to myself, "goodness, if i was the only person in this marriage, it would be perfect!" (super ashamed to admit that one)
(3) i absolutely stink at adding mercy/extending grace towards the jt... whereas, he is an amazing example of this!
why is he a better example at this? b/c of this verse right here:
Luke 7:47 - "Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."
... so this tells me that the jt does a great job remembering how much he has been forgiven - and is thus able to freely forgive others... yet i often forget my many sins and how much God has forgiven me. when i sinfully think that i've been 'forgiven little' i will then 'love little'...
the ironic thing i was most stricken by was...
my work in focusing on how the jt fails as a husband leads me to fail even more as a wife.
meaning... the more i stare at his "huge" log, the more i act ungodly in order to try to get him to fix his "huge" log. so even though my pride convinces me that i am the "perfect" and "most excellent" wife, my pride certainly leads to my destruction b/c i start holding the jt to the law instead of extending grace.
here is a snapshot (from part 3, adding mercy):
"author and biblical counselor
Elyse Fitzpatrick recently gave her own testimony about how God had moved her from a legalistic works-oriented faith to what she calls
'a grace-filled peaceful existence with my merciful heavenly Father... The pressure's off me,' she told her small group.
'Don't get me wrong,' she said
'it's not that i am not pursuing holiness it's just that i know my Father will get me where He wants me to be and that even my failures serve in some way to glorify Him. My relationship with God is growing to be all about His grace, His mercy, His power' but she said she had an awkward moment with her small group that night because when she shared this with her small group, one of her friends spoke up and said,
'Oh, Elyse - Oh, Elyse - that must be such a blessing for your husband, Phil - wow - to be walking in that kind of grace must enable you to be so patient and so grace-filled with him - to know that God is working in him just like He is working in you must make your marriage so sweet and your husband so pleased. It's gotta be great for Phil to know that the pressure is off for him too'. She said there was an awkward, awkward silence as it struck her. She realized in that moment that she rarely ever made the connection between God's mercy and grace to her and her mercy and grace to her husband, Phil. She says
'I scarcely ever extended to Phil the grace I enjoyed with the Lord. Instead I was frequently more like the man in Jesus' parable, who, after he was forgiven a great debt, went out and beat his fellow slave because he owed him some paltry sum.'"
can i get an ouch?
no worries out there... i am not in a state of self-loathing or 'woe is me'. i am repentant & very thankful that God has revealed these areas in my life that i need to work on and i am all the more burdened to strive to be a faithful, loving wife for His glory (and my husband's good!).
i probably explained that in a very perplexing, unclear way... all the more reason to check out the sermons yourself!
:)
